Rose Bud

As I reached out to comfort a friend regarding her recent loss of a baby, my own similar experience was replayed in my memory. I carried my first baby, a boy for 8 months before I lost him to death. I have known and had God in my life for many years. After the loss of my infant son, an even stronger relationship and understanding with God has developed.....

I was very resentful of my siter-in-law who gave birth to a healthy baby boy just a few months after my loss. She was experiencing postpartum depression also, which I didn't understand at the time. This was partly due to my being so young. She was crying alot and I didn't understand why. She was so blessed to have her beautiful baby and I didn't have mine. She should have been very happy. I even believed that she was also crying because she had possibly wanted a girl and not a boy. Wow, was I ever wrong!.....

It took me a long time and a lot of tears to get past my deep loss of my child. I finally got pregnant again approximately one year afterwards. That was after I knew that my husband could bear the idea of us having another child so soon. We needed to remember that we were not the only ones hurting and grieving. Our friends and families were sad also....

When I was 2 months pregnant with our next baby, I was in an automobile accident. My car was totaled due to a man running a red light. As I stepped out of the damaged car, I suddenly remembered at that moment that I was pregnant.....

It was too soon to hear my baby's heartbeat, so God placed in my thoughts, "If your baby makes it through this accident, it will make it to the end." A beautiful baby girl was born and grew into a a young lady. She will soon become an Optometrist. We were blessed again later with another baby boy..After he was older, he was told about his brother that had died years before. Once he was old enough to understand, he then said, "Mom, what IF God fixed me and sent me back?" Wow, I was so blown away by that statement. From out of the mouth of babes will come the truth. Right?.....

No matter what we believe or try to understand, we must first know that The Good
Lord does have a purpose. I choose to believe that my baby didn't survive because there would have been possible health problems. I wouldn't have wanted to watch him suffer all of his life..I choose also to believe that God reached down and took him before I could get attached to him....

A friend of mine had lost a baby also. She said that after the death of their child, that she and her husband took comfort in this bible scripture..(please forgive me if I misquote..2 Peter 3:8) ...A day is but a thousand years, and a thousand years is but a day in God's Kingdom..(my friend did the math)..It will have seemed like ONLY minutes in time that would have passed, before we join our little ones in Heaven..We will see our sweet little babies there. They will be healthy and waiting there to be loved by us....

I know now that He chose me to help heal other broken hearts by sharing my story to grieving mothers. I truly understand their sorrow. I have been in their shoes. May
God bless you all with His constant Love and Grace..

SOMETIMES God reaches down and picks the ROSE BUD to watch it BLOOM in Heaven......

Story sent in by Cindy..To help other hurting parents...cope...

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Back Burner

This story began many years ago. I had just sat down at my kitchen snack bar with a cup of coffee. I could visually see my son's jeep parked in the drive way through my kitchen window where I now sat in front of. As I sipped on the morning brew, I suddenly saw SOMETHING inside of the jeep. There appeared to be some kind of dark hovering shadow that came to my attention. Then I saw what appeared to be my youngest son sitting from behind the steering wheel in his jeep. SOMETHING was terribly wrong with this picture... WAIT, this is impossible, because my son was asleep in his bed in his room. Then the dark shadow took on an odd form and floated over from the back seat to the front seat now enclosing my son in this dark cloud. "Lord, why am I seeing this, I asked?" The Holy Spirit replied in that still small voice "So that you can see what you need to pray against."

I went to check again to be sure that my son was still sleeping in his room,and he was. I then returned to my stool and began to pray never taking my eyes off of that thing in the jeep. I picked up the phone and dialed a Christian. I described what I was seeing and together we agreed for it to FLEE. Slowly the evil thing retreated to the back seat gradually turning its head away from me. It then vanished from view, and so did the form of my son sitting behind the wheel.

Total revelation came that there would be more episodes like this one to come, and that the enemy of darkness was going to try to destroy my child. I began to fervently cling and quote all of God's word on a daily basis to come against that from ever happening. There are many ways to detour one onto the path of wrong, and that is by a wrong CHOICE. My faith was going to be tested to the extreme, and I knew it. I would have to stand and believe God's word when these trials would come and they did..

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

We live by faith, not by sight.
2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)

I have literally been chasing this boy since he was 18 months old. He was one that needed to be constantly monitored. He was always trying out experiments, fixing or building things, always busy. One example of his kind of adventures was as follows. He could scale up the television outside antenna pole, run across the top of the roof, and be down before being caught. I operated a beauty shop inside of my home. I had noticed that I was hearing a lot of thunder on bright sun shiny days. I finally caught him coming down. He was finally busted. I` knew early on that he would be the one sibling that was going to give me a run for my money literally. He did things that his oldest sister and brother had never even thought of. He was a chance taker, a dare devil...

The teen years brought on unwanted friends. His attitude changed and he was hard to control. The saying "Birds of a feather flock together", "Guilty by association", all true. Through the years he has been accused of many things. He however, always managed to clear himself WITHOUT my help. Cops were always knocking on our door looking for our son or someone that he knew. I would just assume that they were watching my son and eventually would come knocking at my door, and they did...

During one of these raids, I found myself praying AGAIN, "Lord please help me through this trial. The Holy Spirit replied "TRUST ME" I said, Lord I trust you, it's my son that I don't trust." This reply has brought me through my longest test ever just recently. He was incarcerated November 27th 2007. Major charges were against him that could put him in jail for approximately 60 years. It looked like an impossible situation.I regularly told my son that "Only God and a good lawyer could get him out of this." When I would want to doubt, I could still hear "TRUST ME." I serve a God that takes impossibilities and makes a way for circumstances to be made possible. I was going to BELIEVE and stand on The Word of God that these charges would be dropped and they were on September 24th 2009. After almost 2 years of WAITING to be freed, he will be coming home soon. There is just one more minor thing that has to be done, and it will finally happen. My God is not finished with His Plan for my son yet.

Picture your kitchen stove and the 4 burners. They are different in size for a reason. We may start out cooking on the front burner and then gradually move that same pot to the back burner on a lower temperature. We have a choice to keep it simmering or just turn it off. Sometimes we think that we have turned it off to only find out that the burner is still on. The food will be either burnt, or will be saved in the nick of time. Like the food on the back burner, my son has been saved just in time..God's perfect timing.

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

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Spiritual Collision

I had traveled this highway many times, but today would be different. As I was nearing the town intersection, the light was STILL green and then it happened. SUDDENLY there was a car crossing in front of me carrying 2 elderly people. All I had time for, was to yell JESUS... while riding my brakes. I could hear the squeeling of my tires as I came to an ABRUPT stop, just inches away from plowing into the driver's door. It didn't happen even though I was so close, that I could actually see their faces looking directly into my eyes. My bumper was just inches away from crushing the door of their car. They never tried to stop. It was as if I had been INVISABLE to them, and so they just continued crossing in front of me.

I was now stopped directly UNDER the red light and traffic from all directions was still flowing uninterupted. It was as if no one was aware of what had just happened or ALMOST HAPPENED...Not one person blew their horn in protest. Not one person slowed down their driving speed. All traffic continued to flow smoothly around me. There was no traffic jam created. I slowly drove through the intersection and parked my car on the side emergency lane to gather my thoughts. "Lord, what just happened?" I asked..The Holy Spirit responded..."You just had a Spiritual Collision." I didn't really understand this revelaton from The Holy Spirit until just recently, many years later. Fear came first...almost wrecked...but Faith...calling on the name JESUS prevented the collision.

My boss just recently made the statement "I have a feeling that Faith & Fear are getting ready to collide." The above incident was recalled to my memory. I totally depend on the The Lord to prepare me to write these stories..and alot of things have TRIED to stop me, BUT FINALLY, IT IS POSTED on this web page where it belongs.. FEAR came first...almost wrecked...but FAITH...calling on the name of JESUS prevented that collision...

An old Alfred Hitchcock thriller story many years ago still bothers me. I couldn't watch many of them. The Twilight Zone would be it's replacement today. Now it has once more crept back into my memory to finish this story. If you are 50-60years of age now, you may remember the weirdness of that show ending. Today I understand it. After all, with age does come wisdom and understanding.

There was this sweet man who drove an ice cream truck. He was always so cheerful and eager to wake up and get ready to go to work every morning. He always greeted his customers of all ages with a SMILE. Most of the show featured him just SITTING inside of his truck and scooting from one position to another to reach the treat of choice. Sometimes he would give the item away if anyone couldn't afford to pay him. You soon realized that he never turned around. He seemed to have limited body movement. When he was alone and there were no customers, you could also hear another voice that seemed to come from within the truck also. It sounded mean and negative, but we could never SEE who it was. In those days, we just assumed that we were just hearing him talking to himself...wrong...

It was a situation of good versus evil. Imagine a duplicate of yourself ATTACHED to your back from birth to your age now. Your front is a good twin (positive), and your connected twin is the evil one (negative) constantly talking to you. Good and evil can't survive together for too long. Eventually one will become the stronger personality. Sadly, the evil personality in this story did end up bashing the good twin against the wall and killing him.

It wasn't long before the evil twin realized that he was going to die also. He had responded out of anger to destroy his good twin and now he was paying the consequences of his actions. Sometime WRONG decisions CAN end up destroying us....

Isaiah: 30:21 (NIV)

Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying "This is the way; walk in it."

Which voice are you LISTENING to?" Which choice will you make?

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Boomerang

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: (NIV Study Bible)

This story is on the changing of seasons in my life. First of all, one of the definitions of season as listed in the World Book Dictionary defines the word season as any period of time marked by something special or characteristic: the holiday season, the harvest season, a season of peace. Another defines it as Figurative, a period or time: at a certain season of our life..

The different seasons in my life have been determined by The Lord, I am led by His Spirit. I find myself in private conversation or thoughts with Him,I don't just know of Him, I have a PERSONAL relationship with Him. There are many stories and seasons in my life that testify to this truth grounded by God's word to confirm what I share is fact and true...

I am now a senior citizen who has gone through many seasons of change. There are alot of things I choose to remember and a lot that I had to discard and let go of. I have been very active in many Christian outreach ministries. The length of involvement varied with each one. One wasn't more important than the other..The Lord would lead me when to get involved, and He would instruct me WHEN the season was over..

Sometimes things from our past come back when we least expect it, like a BOOMERRANG...and resurface into our lives...One of the definitions is as follows: Boomerangs are made of a shape so that when PROPERLY thrown they RETURN to the thrower. This is also worded in the Bible as "We reap what we sow."

Many years ago, I had asked God to take away certain gifts UNTIL the time would come that ONLY He would get all of the Glory. There was a season of my life when the world classified me as having ESP (extra sensory preception) or clairvoyant (supposedly having the power of seeing or knowing about things that are out of sight;having second sight)as defined in The World Book Dictionary. These gifts began to draw too much attention to me...too much...and I didn't feel comfortable with the labels that were given me...I was serving The Lord..and somehow...this terminology didn't settle well with me. I was more in tune with SPIRITUAL visions and revelations from God to be share with others than what the world wanted to hear...I was a Jesus story telling lady...

Zechariah 4:6 Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord Alighty.
(NIV)

Last week, I was on my way to work and listening to my radio around 8:30 am...when THAT still small voice asked "Did you tell Linda that you were disabled?" I didn't remember telling her..then the Holy Spirit replied, "Boomerang, your'e back!" I would soon be seeing this person at a special gathering on Saturday. I knew then that The Lord was going to lead me to get involved with her efforts to support the disabled in any way that I could...She had another meeting that she wanted me to attend with my boss if possible...

My boss and I did attend that meeting out of respect for her. We were extremely late, but we were on time to meet some special people.

Visons, revelations and dreams have returned and I am here to make sure that ONLY God is given the credit...and the honor...

What the Lord was telling me was,that a NEW SEASON had just arrived and to be ready for the UNEXPECTED to happen...but this time....I AM READY.....I have been through many valley trips and now am ready for those Mountain Top experiences...all good.....Look out World, God will be leading the way...I will be just following in his protective shadow...Like a BOOMERANG, I have returned, even more bolder and stronger in my witness to the world...There is a God and His Son Jesus Christ still reigns from the Heavens on high...

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The Blue Tear

Expect the unexpected is what I have LEARNED to expect as a lead intercessor of prayer at different outreach events. During this time it is vitally important to LISTEN for the prompting of the Holy Spirit to read a scripture, or just BE QUIET. At the blink of an eye, the spiritual realm BECOMES visually active for me. I start to sense, see manifestations, or even smell odd odors that others may not be aware of.

I then need to get myself ready, for a HAPPENING that surely was about to take place soon. I knew to get serious, pray, and read the bible...and find scripture that would REVEAL and EXPLAIN what I was experiencing BEFORE I would share with the other intercessors. That is just the way the Lord GUIDES me.

Zechariah 4:6 (NIV) Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,says the Lord Almighty.

We were up in the balcony prayer room interceding for the workers sitting at tables below. A large group of people, myself included were there to be in constant prayer covering for the Hell House Halloween alternative presentation taking place below. People by the hundreds were being taken through reality scenes of life.Everyone was moved through various scenes that depicted an abortion scene, car crash, family abuse room, a party scene, and even school shootings. By the time one had gone through the last scene to see a tortured and bleeding Christ on the cross, many were uncontrollably sobbing. This is when you were given a choice to exit through the Heaven Door or the Hell Exit...The Heaven door brought you to a table of willing people to console you or answer any questions you may have. Through the Hell Exit, you just found yourself OUTSIDE and alone...a strange feeling...I had taken the tour, so this is what I know..

This was the first time that this outreach would take place at my home church..I had participated in it at many other locations prior to this night. I already knew some of the intercessors whom I had bonded with on many other occasions over the years. We knew the gift or gifts operating in each of us. At times we would call out one particular person to pray...because of that special gift of The Holy Spirit. Not all intercessors have the same gifts..to interpret, the speaking in tongues, dishearnment, the visual eyes to see, and the spiritual ears to hear...but all work together for the same purpose...to help free people from bondage..and give them hope.

The music ANNOUNCING the start of the event was playing...We all made ourselves comfortable. I got out my bible, notebook and sat on the floor. There was soothing praise music playing low that could be heard, but not overpowering. Some intercessors would sit on the floor and just pray face down. Others could be seen pacing back and forth silently, while others were verbablly praying. I was intent on just BEING ready for whatever did take place...

Weary actors and actresses would come up for prayer for strength to keep on participating. Others were brought in for prayer to be comforted. Some were brought in to be delivered from evil spirits that seemed to have control over their bodies,(deliverance). Sometimes people just wanted more of God to come into their lives. What ever the request was, we all tried to meet that need in personal prayer time with them.

We were now into several hours of prayer time when...I saw a vision of a HUGE BLUE TEAR Drop that seem to fall from the sky. I looked around and soon KNEW that I was the only one seeing this. I got my bible and begin to seek out the answer..The Holy Spirit placed into my thoughts... the word BREAK THROUGH...


Psalm 28:6 (NIV) Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.

I then was instructed to leave the intercessory room and go sit in the top balcony and look down at the intercessors sitting at their tables below waiting for people to sit with them. It was then that I SMELLED this strong FOUL odor. I asked, "Lord, what is that smell? He replied, GENERATIONAL CURSES." I then remembered the bible study that a close friend and I had done on fragrances that exposed certain spirits, good or bad...That will be another story for later...

The Lord then instructed me to go back into the intercessory prayer room and share this revelation with the others...I did so. I was to tell them that there was an invisable wall up BETWEEN the downstair intercessors that was keeping them from reaching the hurting people who would sit at their table...It was if their words and efforts were bouncing back and not GETTING through to the person sitting directly in front of them. We needed to pray for BREAKTHROUGH.. I then shared the Blue Tear Drop vision with them...

Shortly after my sharing this info, the downstair intercessors came up and asked for prayer describing what was happening to them...just as I had said. We prayed...and later...a praise report was brought to us...There had been a total BREAKTHROUGH and people were getting saved and now coming up to us for prayer...God is always ready to reveal himself to us. If we ask for his help, He will show up...

A recent revelation to this story...was The cry for Mercy was our cry...but the blue tear drop was God's mercy drop for our situation...He's a big God...and that surely was a big tear...

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Bluebird Singing

There are many definitions of the word ROOT. Webster's Dictionary defines it as the following:  It absorbs moisture, stores food, and also serves as an anchor and support/fundamental or essential part/the original CAUSE of something.....

Most of us are familiar with the phrase "Money is the root of all evil" It's not the actual money, but the greed to have it that may causes it to become evil. The more we have, the more we want, and therefore sometimes we can make wrong choices to use it. Our past literally controls our future IF we let it.

Imagine a huge Live Oak tree...how strong it APPEARS to be..then visualize the size of what it's roots must look like BENEATH the soil that is HOLDING it firmly planted..It takes years to get to the size of a full grown HEALTHY tree. It started from a small acorn. It had to weather many seasons of growth.. On the other hand, the Water Oak APPEARS to be just as big, strong and well rooted, but it is not. It can be uprooted easier, BECAUSE it's roots are not as strong or as deep as the Live Oak to protect it from a mighty wind. The Live Oak may lose a few branches, but most of the time it will remain standing. The Water Oak can be seen most of the time laying on it's side and totally uprooted after a strong storm. I have seen these massive trees with hardly any roots at all. It is amazing to me that they can even stand at all with such a small root system.

Good roots are important in our lives. We have to rid ourselves of the bad roots, in order to have a healthier future. I had many roots of unforgiveness in my life that needed to be done away with. The following is my story.... 

I am married to a chronic complainer. His only conversation is COMPLAINTS. I loved him anyway for many years, after all I wasn't perfect either. For years I listened to this. I just pretended that I was alright. I soon began to realize that I was becoming  more and more bitter toward my husband.  This was not the normally nice sweet me. I didn't like what was happening. I could literally hear a wall go up..CHA CHING each time that he would fuss over petty unimportant things. Then one night as we laid down to go to sleep, the following happened...

  I was on my back, wide awake and SUDDENLY it was like a vine had come out of the bed and was now binding my feet, then my waist and last of all my arms. There was no fear. I asked "Lord, what is this? What is happening?" That still small voice replied "This is the roots of UNFORGIVENESS. Do you want to KEEP punishing each other like this?" I replied "No" and the vines released their hold on me. 

A couple weeks later a friend and I were walking down the gravel road that ran in front of my grandmother's house looking for pine cones. All sizes could be seen laying on the edges of the road. We could pick and choose which ones to keep. We had our noses to the ground and soon had walked a far distance from our starting point gathering our treasures. Then.........

  I heard the most beautiful singing of a bird nearby. WHERE was the melody coming from? There was a small brown bird sitting on a branch just singing and singing all ALONE. My eyes saw and my ears heard were the JOYFUL noise that it was producing. I then noticed all of these UGLY vines all over the tree. It was as if the vines were TRYING to squeeze the every ounce of life out of the tree. This little bird seemed to be so happy and singing. The tree on the other hand, looked lifeless and SAD. Then I looked down.....

About 2 feet from the base of the tree were large dark roots that had come OUT of the ground rose up and then changed direction to go back to the tree. They were now wrapped around the base, and now trying to vine it's way back to the top. It looked like a nest of ROLLING SNAKES fighting each other to finish off the LIFE of the tree. The bird could have chosen another tree, but it chose this sad, lifeless tree..to serenade with it's beautiful song...

    He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.   PSALM 39:4  (NIV)

The Blue Bird of happiness can be heard singing a new song in my life these days. God revealed the destructive roots of unforgiveness that were planted in my life. He then handed me the tool to destroy them.. (Knowlege and understanding) He then showed me how to let go of the bitterness and then GO ON.

The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.  MATTHEW 3:4 (NIV)

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Changing of the Wind

I was in the office of my boss WHEN I heard a baby crying. I stopped posting figures for our books to tune in closer to listen...I got up from my chair and then proceded to go check out the other side.There wasn't anyone but me in the building. I said "Lord, I know that you will give me the meaning to this WHEN it is your timing. I went back and continued to work.

There were no more sounds to be heard. I later went downstairs to visit with the landlord. I asked them if their grandchildren had come to vist. The answer was no. I told them that I had heard a baby cry...Now the baby didn't sound like it was in pain, or mad...just a sudden cry..like the FIRST cry of life at BIRTH.. I shared this info with our staff members. They just listened and didn't comment. What could they say? They didn't hear the baby cry, only me...

There's a noticable SHIFTING in our everyday lives these days. Families are rearranging their priorities to stretch the household budget. Businesses are cutting down in any way possible to try just hang on until the economy picks up. This is when we truly understand the definition of the word RECESSION. There is plenty of everything, we just CAN'T buy because of lack of funds. My employer has done everything he had to, to be able just to keep the busy flowing.I know that always gives God his due. He NEVER fails to short change His Reverance for God...He is known to say "I am a Jesus Man" when put into awkward situations..God will always honor those who STAND when it is hard to do so...physically and spiritually. I know that there are alot of people out there asking "How are we going to make it in SUCH TIMES AS THESE?"

ROMANS 8:28 (NIV) And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

There have been alot of trying TESTS in my life and others lately, we all have strived to keep our faith in tact. I believe that "With God all things Are possible" and that he will always come through for us in His perfect Timing.

On Wednesday June 24th, 2009 The Lord whispered "There will be a changing of the tide". I was to share that with my boss. I did and a couple of days later, he shared with me the meaning the the Lord gave him personally for it. I was truly blessed.

Everything is CONTROLLED by God...the moon, the sun, the tide, the winds...our lives...IF WE LET HIM BE IN CONTROL OF IT...

MARK 4:41 (NIV) They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

On Thursday June 25th, 2009 The Lord whispered, "There will be winds of change".
The revelation came the next day through this scripture.

EPHESIANS 4:14 (NIV) Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.

A few week back, boss and his wife were checking our offices on the other top half of our building complex when.........I noticed that he had come to a sudden stop...and seemed to be frozen in place..He had this LOOK on his face. I asked him if he was alright, and he then said "Yes, but I thought that I had heard a baby cry." He then motioned where he thought it had come from...His wife must not have heard it, because she was still busy checking the offices...I knew that he had heard THE CRY because I had heard it myself another time...I had not told him...prior to his experience...

The separate busisnesses were confirmed on Friday June 26th, 2009 to all of us..

Saturday June 27th, 2009..early mid morning...The Lord gave me this final revelation to this story.

WHEN I had heard the baby cry, I was in his office. He had heard the baby cry on the opposite other half of our top floor. The two female employess stationed on that side, have now chosen to branch off on their own. A completely new business has been BIRTHED on the side that my boss had heard the baby cry...Praise to God. We will all continue to work together helping each other, but as individual business owners..God is awesome. He definitely had a good plan for everybody...His way, not ours...

We have prayed, waited and trusted God TOGETHER in the past, and now we will see the FRUITS of our works start to manifest..(happen) When you strive to serve God, He never forgets what you have done for Him. After all, it was in His plan from the beginning..

When we are out of God's will...we are just chasing the wind...but with God........and you know the rest of the story...It's in the bible..

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